I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
