i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
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Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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