you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
