White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
