jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
i out mim tonsoeep
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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