So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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