I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
