Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
