I like to think it a success when the cops are called
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
