my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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