I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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