Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize