it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
