Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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