I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
