she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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