I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
