my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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