Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize
