This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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