u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
