You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
