I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
