I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Text me some of your sweat
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
