I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
