She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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