So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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