i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
