my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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