Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Found your dick twin last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize