He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
