Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
