I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my vagina gasped.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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