words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
