I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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