It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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