i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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