Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
