so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize