We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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