Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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