grandma shit on top of the toilet
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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