the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
