Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
MIDGETS
????
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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