Duck Duck Cougar?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
