What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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