so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
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She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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