hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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