So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
