Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
