She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize