Already got asked if we're dating
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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