You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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