There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
