we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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