Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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