I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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