There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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