You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
