Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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