Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
