woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
