I need help removing her.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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